


Brian

by Debv3



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:21:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28945074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Debv3/pseuds/Debv3
Summary: Justin reflects on the people in Brian's life.
Relationships: Brian Kinney/Justin Taylor (Queer as Folk)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 23





	1. Brian

**Author's Note:**

> This a story I wrote around the same time I wrote Holy S***. I was briefly inspired and have not had any real inspiration since. Comments are love. Enjoy!

I enter the room and find him sitting at his desk working on the computer. We exchange kisses and hellos. 

I take out my ever present sketch book and pencil and begin drawing him. He looks at me and smiles, comforted by the silence. It is a comfort that I know he never expected to feel, and an image he refused to see himself fitting into-one he called the “Stepford fag”. But I saw it, there under the surface hibernating, making the occasional guest appearance to take in a breath of fresh air (me, Gus, or the life he was slowly building without his conscious consent). Slowly his so called “family” has come to see him for the man he has always been, and I have seen since the first night we were together.

Emmett I think was the first to see the true Brian. He does not want to be Brian, doesn’t envy him his life style or want to join the long list of conquests Brian has racked up over the years. Perhaps the only other person who truly saw Brian for who and what he is was Vic. Brian took losing Vic harder than anyone will ever know, he saw Vic as his true father and even while he was fighting cancer Brian mourned for Vic more than for himself. Teddy has gone from envious observer to trusted friend, although Brian will never admit it for fear of looking soft. But, in his own way Brian has always shown Teddy the respect and loyalty that a real friend deserves, and Ted has earned by re-claiming his life. Even Melanie has softened, somewhat, her attacks are less hate fuelled and more quick witted bantering, to both of their surprise they missed each other when she and Lindsey ran away to Canada. Ben has always seen the good under the bristly persona Brian projects. Which brings me to the family members who are still riding the ‘short bus’ when it comes to Brian: Debbie, Michael and Lindsey.

First is Debbie, the self-proclaimed ‘mother of Liberty Ave”. She sees most of through rose colored glasses, “poor, talented Sunshine” who needs to be protected from the big, bad Kinney. Or her sweet, caring Michael who “always knows what someone needs” and gives it to them. But somehow casts Brian as the uber-villan in a bad telenovella on Telemundo. No matter what happens to one of us it is always Brian’s fault even when he wasn’t there.

Now Lindsey is a totally different creature. She “loves” Brian and at the same time refuses to acknowledge how he has changed- for me, for Gus and for himself. She refuses to let him grow-up instead keeping him the “Peter” to her “Wendy”, the boy who will never grow-up.

Finally, I come to Mikey. Mikey who claims to be Brian’s “best friend”, perpetually seeking Brian’s attention, love and devotion. Michael has gone on to build himself a life with Ben, Hunter, and JR but expecting Brian to stay the ‘party boy’ that Michael seeks so much solace in having to “take care of, put to bed and protect”.

By casting him as the eternal child they deny themselves the chance to get to know the wonderful, loving and incredible man Brian as become.

I am not blameless in the way the ‘family’ sees him, I recognize the role I have played in reinforcing their old image of Brian as the “no regrets, no apologies’ asshole. But that was when I was a naïve , love struck teenager, looking for some place to belong. In Brian I found so much more- I found compassion, love, understanding, support without conditions. Every morning I wake up in our bed, our arms wrapped around each other as if seeking to become one entity that is BrianandJustin. Two halves that are successful alone but complete and unstoppable together. I silently remind myself every day to thank the universe for putting that lamp post in my path so many years ago. Under its soft illumination I found the love of my life, my inspiration and myself.


	2. Unexpected Guests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin’s Big Adventure

So I’m sure you are wondering where this little reflection of mine is coming from. Well I’m not entirely sure it comes from any one event, but more like a series of smaller ones over the last few years. I still occasionally live in New York and am in Brian’s words “a great, big, fucking success” just like he predicted I would be. But now we split our time between the Pitts and New York, yes you heard correctly WE. About 8 months into my New York adventure Brian sent me an e-mail:

Hey-

Justin’s Excellent New York Adventure needs a revision. Come home.

B

My response was simple:

Excellent! Dude took you long enough!

Two can play the “Bill and Ted” angle. This is the admission from Brian I have been waiting for, I thought he might play the noble boyfriend a little longer than 8 months but I guess I’ve underestimated my powers.

When I arrived home-when did the loft become home? The first night, when I moved in after my dad told me to never talk about my “disgusting lifestyle”, or after the bashing when only Brian could make me feel safe? Whenever it happened it is home and we both know and acknowledge it. – Either way my first stop was the loft, I didn’t tell Brian when I would arrive and wanted to surprise him, boy did I ever! When he walked in he was met by an armful of very horny blonde who knocked him to the floor and fucked him next to the door and his briefcase. Sadly, neither of us locked the door so when the gang decided to stop by to ‘cheer’ Brian up they got more than they were expecting as well. In fact by the time they arrived Brian and I had relocated to the rug in front of the couch, he was on top but I was definitely the top. I’m not quite sure how much they saw or heard but from the flush on Ted’s face I think it was sometime around me telling Brian to open himself up for me.

“That’s right Brian you want it so bad….get yourself nice and open, yeah you have missed my long, thick cock haven’t you?” I stared up lustily. “I know you can take more than that…”

“Oh I have missed you. So hard for you….can’t wait to have you inside me.” He grunted “stroking and throbbing and pounding into me.”

“well don’t wait any longer I’m right here.” I gasped as he dropped down on my cock, impaling himself in one swift movement and lifting up again. Barely stilling himself long enough to adjust to my size. “Slow down Baby we have all night. I could stay here all night…so tight and warm and mine.”

“What the fuck are you doing Brian!!!!” Mikey screamed.

“Shit Mikey what does it look like I’m doing?” Brian growled and slowly lifted off of me, throwing a shirt over my groin. “I am getting fucked by a kick ass top who happened to drop in from NY for the weekend.”

“He…he..he was …fucking…you.” Michael hyperventilated.

“Deep breaths sweetie. “ Emmett reassured Michael and looked at me with a wink “Welcome home baby.”

“Hey Em” I blushed.

“Yes, Michael he was fucking me. Did you think I never bottomed for Justin? After nearly 6 years?” Brian asked incredulously.

“Why is the twink fucking you?” Michael whined.

“Because he can.” Brian growled. “Now get..the..fuck..out. And Theodore delete the pictures from your phone. Hi Emmett, bye Emmett.” 

And with that the door slammed shut, I flopped onto the floor and Brian got a drink.

“Well should make the next family dinner interesting.” I laughed.

“Welcome home lover.” He smirked and handed me a glass. 

“Good to be home. I don’t think I will ever forget the look on Michael’s face.”

“yeah well ever hero has to fall eventually. I’m just glad Lindsey wasn’t here.” Brian said.

And on that note, the mood killed we headed to the shower and then to bed.

The next few days progressed slowly, falling into a pattern of sleep, fuck, eat, fuck, work, fuck, eat, fuck, shower, eat, fuck, sleep. With a little bit of ‘avoid the family’ sprinkled in for good measure.

“Brian I have been here for a week already, are we going to talk about this or should I just have my shit packed and sent back to me?” I yelled into the shower. It seems every time I want to talk about the future he finds a reason to shower, eat, call Gus, go to work or kiss me. Well no more I am taking a stand. “Brian I am going to invite Debbie over for dinner tonight.”

“Why the fuck would you do that?” he asks rushing from the bathroom. Nothing is more effective than threatening to call someone’s mother.

“because” kiss “we need” kiss “to talk about” kiss ”what I am doing here.” I sighed into his neck.

“I know, but no need to do anything crazy. I want you to come home. Living apart sucks, we never have enough time together and when we are together its rushed.” He said eyes looking anywhere but into mine. “Can you check to see if I have sprouted a pussy or suddenly started dressing like Ted?”

“Brian, look at me.” I say and tilt his chin up “I want to come home. I have an agent and she thinks I should be where my inspiration is, not in New York where my gift will ‘get trampled on and muddled by the pretensions of the art elitists’. “Have I mentioned I love Alix?

“But I don’t want you giving anything up for me. Lindsey says you need to experience New York and all the experiences you can get in the center of the art world.” Brian said, sounding less like Brian and more like Mikey for a moment.

“If it’s the center of the art world why does she work at a gallery in Toronto? It was her dream to go to New York, somehow I have ended up living her dream not mine.” Her dream in more ways than one.

“Is this the part where you tell me I am pathetic and that I should trust you to know what is best for you? Because I think I see that lecture coming and you would think that by now I would have understood it.” Brian sighed “let’s get dressed and face the firing squad. Maybe they will all be at the diner and we can feed your beast, which has been growling at me almost as long as you have.”


	3. At the Diner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time face the fam.

Ok, admittedly getting me to leave the bedroom for food is not too difficult, I and motivated by three things in no particular order: food, art and sex. So we dress and head to the diner, no time like the present to face the family, because by now I am sure little Mikey has gone to his mommy telling her something is wrong with Brian, and called Muncherville to let them know Brian is acting weird and that I’m home. 

As we pull up to the diner I feel Brian tense beside me, he hates this kind of stuff- no matter how much he has grown in the last 6 years- we drive by slowly looking for a spot to park and see Michael waving his arms talking to Ted and Emmett with Deb standing behind them with her hand on her hip. If I wasn’t so sure about what he was saying I think I would find the picture of them all there comforting, one of those images from childhood that we see years later as we visit home after being away too long. But I do know what they are talking about and I know I am going to have to be the strong one, the one to guide Brian through the minefield that is our ‘family’. I have spent a lot of time thinking about what I would say to all of them if given the chance to really tell them how I feel, something I have yet to do simply because I don’t think Brian is really ready for me to tell them. 

“Are you ready for this?” he asks me.

“Bring it on. “ I tell him and grab his hand as we cross the street and push the door open.

The reaction we get tells me that Michael’s mouth has no off switch today, the diner isn’t very busy but the people who are there stop their conversations to watch.

“Oh for fuck sake! Don’t you people have anything else to do?” Brian glares. 

“Brian!!!” Michael calls out to him, “how are you?” As if Brian would be injured by a couple of rounds with my dick up his ass-if they only knew what else I have put up there.

“What are you talking about Michael?” he asks with a raised eye brow almost daring Michael to speak.

“Well….you know…after this morning…” Michael is such a child.

“Give it a rest Michael. It’s not like I haven’t fucked him before or harder” I say. Ok, I am a devil.

“Justin! Baby, How long are you here for? When did you get back? Why the hell haven’t I heard from you? You are coming to dinner! Call your mother.” Deb rants at me without taking a breath.

“Hi, Deb. Not sure how long I’m here, 1 week, I was busy, of course I have to get my fill of lasagna, I called her from the car.” I answered and then turned to Michael “So Michael. What have you been talking about?”

I see him cringe at the tone of my voice, a gift I received from my mother and perfected at the knee of a master. Emmett just gives me a smile and moves over to sit next to Ted so Brian and I can assume our customary position. Ted looks from Brian to Michael to me and then blushes as he says “Hi Justin. Brian”

“Deb could I get a coffee and feed the beast within Justin.” Brian says.

“Sure thing. Do you want a sandwich too?” Deb asks.

“Yeah” he says and grabs my hand on the table and weaves our fingers together. I know Michael caught it and see the hamster start to run on its wheel.

“Brian….you haven’t been out lately. Are you ok? We never see you anymore.” Michael whines.

“Michael I am fine, more than fine. I run a successful business and have other things on my mind that going to Babylon and watching twinks shake their ass’ for old fags. Especially when I have my very own twink.” Brian grinned.

“Yeah. Well he’ll be gone soon. He never sticks around for very long.” Michael grumbled. Ok I am getting pissed now.

“Fuck you Michael. You have no idea when Justin is here and when he isn’t or if we have even been in touch since he moved, which we have by the way every night.” Brian says softly. “and don’t think I am not aware of the fact that you’ve been asking around to see if I have been at Woody’s or in the backroom. I have more friends than just you 3! I need a cigarette.”

“good job Michael.” Emmett huffs “Baby I’m so glad you’re home. The big, bad has been sorta down lately. It will be nice to see him shine again.”

“Em stop wasting your breath he’ll leave again.” Michael spat. God where is Deb when he spews this crap?

“Michael!” I say and he ignores me. “Michael! You stupid shit. Brian is not one of your action figures that you can just pull out and play with at your whim, he is human-yes Ted human- Brian is so much more than you have ever allowed him to be.”

“Quit deluding yourself Justin. He is never going to change, he is never going to settle down with one person. Just go back to New York.”

Being the wise men that they are Ted and Emmett they keep quiet and let Michael just say his peace. I listen with one eye on Michael and one on Brian sitting outside on the bench smoking. All I want to do is tell Michael off but I won’t, yet.

“Deb…can you pack up our food. I am not really liking the company here right now.” I call out and lean over to kiss Emmett and pat Ted on the shoulder. “Em call me later, Ted for your sake I hope you deleted the pictures”

“I did. Sorry Justin.” Ted blushed.

“Sure thing honey. Here ya go. See you at dinner tonight. 7pm” Deb smiles and squeezes me tight.

“Can’t wait.”

It’s true I can’t wait for dinner tonight. I am going to talk to Brian and let him know that I am going to tell some truth tonight. I know he isn’t going to be happy about it but he will not stand in my way either, I think he knows that I need to do it before I can really move home.

The ride home was quiet. Brian had to take the time to process what had happened at the diner and I was starved so I ate my lunch and drank my milkshake. After all I was going to need all my strength for later at Deb’s.

We arrived back at the loft, Brian leaving his phone, wallet and keys next to the answering machine on his way to the couch. He hit the message button and we were greeted by the sound of Lindsey’s voice asking it he was ok, was I home, why was Michael calling Canada in a huff, should she come down.

“Brian I think we, you and I, should go to Toronto to visit them in a week or so. Cynthia can clear your schedule.” I said to a raised eye brow “yes I already checked with her. We need to get this settled before I move back. I will not let Michael continue to keep you on his pedestal as some stunted little action hero who never changes and he plays with when he needs comfort or company.” 

“Ok..”

“And Brian you don’t have to go tonight if you don’t want to, but don’t ask me not to stand up for you…for us.” I rant on.

“Ok…”

“They all need a little smack into reality. You are not and have never really been the heartless….” He kisses me “Brian…you can’t distract me.”

“I….said…O..K.. You little drama queen. Have at them. I’m tired of it.“ he says and leads me to the couch to sit and puts his head on my lap. This is a brand new Brian, one I have never seen before. He is just letting me stand up for him, he’s not trying to orchestrate anything.

“What??” I stammer

“I said ok. Be my champion, defend my honor. I kinda think this newer, bolder Justin is hot.” He grins up at me. “Take charge of it, I don’t want to deal with it anymore. It takes too much out of me to put on that show.”

All I can do is smile down at him and run my fingers through his hair. For the next hour or so we sat on the couch talking softly about the past, future, Emmett’s outfit. I took comfort from his calm, acceptance and it made me even more sure of what I had to do at Deb’s that night.


	4. Mikey's Big Mouth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Justin has something to say.

Wow. Brian is going to let me tell the family off! Shit! How do I get myself into these things? Oh, right because I can’t keep my big mouth shut when I get pissed off. Well I hope someone really ticks me off tonight. Not that I don’t have plenty to say anyway but it would be better with ammo, and Lindsey and Mel in attendance, I am a WASP I like to be efficient after all. But alas I will have to settle for only the Pittsburgh contingent as my targets. 

After we got back to the loft Brian took a nap, I sketched for a while and then laid down with him and actually slept. When the alarm rang at 6pm telling us to get our asses in the shower and dressed neither of us moved too quickly at first.

“Come on Brian it is not our execution we are attending. It’s theirs. Get up. Get washed. Get dressed. I will do all of the work tonight. And if you are a really good boy I will finish up the little game we were interrupted playing this morning.” I grinned and wiggled my eyebrows at him on my way to the shower.

“Fine. But only because of the promise of sex. And you better put out in the shower too.” He grumbled, but followed.

6:45pm

“Justin we are going to be late!”

“Ok. I’m ready. Let’s go!”

Amazingly enough we made it to Deb’s on time, of course then we sat in the car for 10 minutes because Brian can’t be on time for these things, he had a good excuse this time, “They are going to be getting enough of a shock without me actually being on time Sunshine.”

We walked up to the door and enter hand in hand to face the family, from the looks on their faces I could tell Michael had been talking shit. Great.

“Greetings,minions!” Brian knows how to make an entrance.

“Fuck you Brian.” Michael said.

“Hi Babies!” Emmett grinned. I love him, in fact its to bad he has to be here but maybe he will avoid the fall out.

“Hi Emmett.”

“Honeycutt.” “Don’t call me Honeycutt”

“Brian don’t start.” I whispered

We all sat down with our drinks and made small talk for awhile. Emmett talked about the next wedding he was planning-the bride wanted a pink and blue wedding, Brian asked if the wedding party was going to wear diapers. Deb smacked him and Emmett nearly fell off the couch laughing. They wanted to know about New York, my apartment, if I had an agent, what were the clubs like, and of course how long I was staying.

“So when are you leaving?” Michael said from the corner. Interesting how he is always in the corner…

“Well I’m not sure. It depends on a few things. I actually have to stop in and see Sydney Bloom about a small show next year.” I smiled and leaned back into Brian who was behind me rubbing my back.

“Wow sweetie that great! Next thing you know we’ll be getting our formal wear out to attend your big New York opening.” Emmett said.

“Yeah but to do that he needs to go back to New York.” Michael.

“Michael what are you talking about?” Deb asked.

“Well he never sticks around, as soon as something better comes along he is out the door and we are left here to clean up after him!” Michael spat. “He is nothing but a selfish twink who comes running home to Brian when things get to hard for him to take. Watch, when things get tough in New York he’ll be back again begging Brian to take him back. “

The whole room just kind of stops for a second, shocked by what Michael has said about me, then they look to Brian for a comment.

“You know Michael its not like I haven’t heard all of this and more from you in the past. If you are going to continue to be an immature little asshole the least you could do is change your tune.” I said coolly.

“Justin what do you mean?” Debbie asks from the kitchen.

“Well Deb I’m sure you have heard it before. It’s his usual bull shit. ‘your just a back up plan’, ‘Brian will never change’, ‘he should have left you there on the cement’, ‘he only keeps you around because he feels guilty that you got bashed’. Did I forget anything Michael?” By now I am standing in front of him, challenging him to speak again. Sadly, Deb had something to say about it first.

“Michael would never say such hateful things! And we all know that Brian has been spouting the other bull shit for years. Tell him Michael!”

Silence……………….

“Michael tell me you have not said those things to Justin.” Deb says softly, as if her heart is breaking,

“Deb he has said that and more I’m afraid.” Ted said. “We have all said something along the lines of Brian will never change.”

“Well I’m sure Michael was just angry when he said those other things.” Deb tries to delude herself.

During all of this Brian is sitting silently in Vic’s old chair, nursing a glass of Beam. I know this has to be hard for him to hear but he needs to hear it all and support me when I say it all. They are never going to learn if we aren’t united in how we deal with them. As I start to rev up for my next stage I notice Emmett slide closer to Brian and say something to him that I can’t hear. Whatever it was it seems to make Brian smile and relax.

“DEB you have to stop excusing Michael’s bad behavior. He is an adult-at least he pretends to be sometimes- he is responsible for the things he says and he needs to learn to keep his fucking mouth shut and his nose out of our relationship. Brian and I have been together for 6 years!! SIX Years Michael.” I explode. It never ceases to amaze me how she can excuse is bad behavior. Is it the country club in me?

“What you and Brian have been doing for the last 6 years is not a relationship! You are a convenient fuck, you slept with other people and even moved in with Ethan. You let him pay for you to go to school-you are nothing but a whore!” Michael snorted. “And he should have left you there for Hobbs.”

“Michael…” Deb gasped, Emmett placed a hand on Brian’s arm and Ted moved away. Thank you Emmett for being there, if not Michael might be dead right now.

“You know what Michael…I don’t really give a shit what you think about me, you are a sad little boy who never got over his fixation with Brian. He is NEVER going to fuck you, he is NEVER going to settle down with you in Florida and YOU will never be as important to him as Gus or me.” I yell about 3 feet from his face. “You are always saying you’re his best friend, that you love him, well how is it loving him if you never let him grow up? Thank God I came along when I did, if not you would have kept him that emotionally paralyzed, party boy forever. Meanwhile, you get to move on, have a relationship and even a kid but you expect Brian to stay the same, you belittle his parenting and his ability to love anyone but you. You are a sick, little man and I don’t understand how someone as smart, caring and kind as Ben can put up with you.”

Ok I need to take a breath, stop shaking and get a drink.

“Justin, Brian . I don’t know what to say to you. Justin I had no idea Michael said those things to you. Brian I have always accepted Michael’s feelings for you, I see now that I should have put a stop to it long ago. I am sorry I was so blind to how he was treating you and for falling into the ‘Brian will never change’ chorus. Michael we are going to talk about this later. “ Ben said sadly. “Deb I’ll see you later I need to get out of here.” And Ben was gone with a quick wave and sad look.

“Ben…wait…you don’t understand.” Michael whined. “This is all your fault. You took Brian away from me and then chased Ben off too. Just get out of our lives!!!”

“Well, Mikey” a say his name as if it is acid on my tongue “I am not going anywhere. Deal with it or don’t. But while I am here tonight I think I will just say my peace and then Brian and I have some place to be. For a long time now I have held my tongue when it comes to how you all treat Brian.” Deb tried to interrupt, “ No, Deb you all do it. From the minute I met him all I have heard is that he will never change, he is a selfish, heartless, asshole who will break my heart. Well I hate to break it to you but the heart breaking isn’t done by Brian but to Brian.” 

Brian silently gets up, kisses me on the cheek and motions that he is going out for a smoke. When Michael tries to follow him Brian stops him with a look and a “No, Mikey you need to hear this and I just don’t have it in me to fight with any of you.” I know he is going to stay outside and listen to everything we say. When he finishes his cigarette he’ll stay in the pantry and just listen. 

“What so you’re just going to let him attack us like that?” Michael yells .

“Yes, Michael that is exactly what he is going to do.” I said and sat down. “Do any of you have a clue as to how what you say about Brian hurts him? Every time you smack him in the head Deb, what do you think he feels?” she looks confused “do you really think he finds it endearing? You were there you saw what they did to him, you more than anyone should know what he went through. His own mother allowed the physical abuse and she told him over and over again that he was worthless. You are his ‘mah’ it crushes him every time you smack him.” Deb tries to sputter out something about he knows it’s a love tap. “really? How much love did he receive as a kid that wasn’t followed by a bruise, broken bone or verbal attack. You can’t blame him for everything that goes wrong, it isn’t his fault little Mikey here can’t grow up. If you are unable to see the true Brian you are going to lose him.”

“Is that a threat?!”

“No, Michael it’s a fact. He loves you guys, you are his family, he will always love you. But every time you refuse to see him as the man he really is you hurt him, just as much as Jack or Joan did. You have to let him go Michael, be his friend not his groupie. Deb, you say he is selfish but who paid off your credit card after you and Vic went to Italy? Who made sure the mortgage got paid? When there is a need for someone to take a stand who is there with his time and money? Sure he doesn’t march or protest but when that judge let Hobb’s off who glued him to the toilet- yeah I know? When that guy took off with the Prop 14 money who got Remson to fund it? Who got the Hospice re-named and funded? Should I go on?” Met with silence I move on to my next topic. “And Michael every time you call him a drop in dad you cut Brian to the quick. He is already afraid to be like his father, and I know you saw Gus as just another pull on his attention for you, you even tried to talk him out of it. Well you didn’t did you. And let’s look at his track record at being a dad shall we?”

“No Justin I think you have made your point. I have a lot to think about.” Michael said.

“One last thing. When Mel and Linds split and she almost married the French guy do you know what got them back together? NO? Brian did, he signed his parental rights over to Mel because he wanted Gus to be in a loving house. Ironic don’t you think considering you still have legal rights to your daughter and got into a tug of war with Mel over custody.”

Deb and Michael were quiet after this and Ted and Emmett looked afraid to move. Brian came in silently and touched me on the shoulder.

“Justin lets go home.” He said softly.

“Ok” I said and took his hand.

“Emmett stop by tomorrow morning ok?” Brian said and gave Em a small sideways hug.

“Sure Bri. Way to go Princess.” Emmett said and pat my cheek.


	5. Back at the Loft

Brian and I walked to the car in silence with his hand on my back and my head on his shoulder, I was still too angry to say anything so when he opened my door I just slumped into the seat and lit a cigarette. Brian simply got in the car, started the engine and turned the car toward home allowing me to relax and breathe through my adrenaline. By the time we got back to the loft I was calm and ready to talk, it would be an understatement to so that I was nervous about how he would react to all of the things I said, but he did give me permission to do it.

The first thing he did when we got into the loft was lock and alarm the door, after taking his coat and mine and hanging them up he pour two glasses of Beam handed me one and sat by the window looking out at the city. I slowly made my way to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, leaning my head into his back and just waited for him to say something.

“Justin, I don’t have the words to express what I am feeling right now. The things you said to them, to Deb and Michael, all the things I have wanted to say for so long.” He says so softly I barely hear him, he takes a deep breath and goes on, “you knew, you know me so well. Thank you for that, for making them see what I have never been able to make them see.”

The look in his eyes as he says that is pure love, tainted by sorrow, as if he has realized that a huge weight has been lifted from his shoulders that he had been carrying for years. With any luck my comments will have sunk in with Deb, although I’m sure not for long, and Michael will start to see that he can’t have Brian, that I am not going anywhere and that Brian is and always has been a good person. So I take a deep breath, let my hands slide to his shoulders and turn him around to face me completely.

“Brian, whether they get it or not I hope you have started to realize that you are and have always been a good man and are deserving of respect, success and love.” I place my finger under his chin and make him look me in the eye while I repeat myself. “Brian you are and always have been a good man, and you are deserving of respect, success and love.”

“I know that.” He whispers.

“No, I don’t think you do. You do everything for the people you love-other than let them know they are important to you- and you never expect anything in return. Well sometimes it’s good to expect to be thanked. It makes the person you helped realize they have been helped.” I say calmly. “So, if I have to say it every day between now and the day I die I will. I love you. You deserve love. You are a good man.”

“Justin.” He says and just touches my cheek. I grab his fingers and kiss each one before releasing his hand and heading for the shower. I know he needs some time to relax after what I have said to him, and the best place for that to happen is in the shower.

I start the shower and set the temperature the way Brian likes it, hot. Once the room has steamed up I go into the bedroom and strip before heading back into the shower. I know he will join me because he can’t resist a hot shower, with me. As I step under the water I hear him enter the bathroom and a moment later he is standing behind me, shampoo in hand ready to wash my hair. Before he gets started I take the bottle from him and turn him around so I can wash his hair, he silently leans forward and spreads his legs so I can reach his entire head. I massage his head from front to back and then spend time on his temples before slowly moving his head under the shower to rinse it. After his hair is cleaned I move on to just washing him, making slow circles on his back with the loofa, massaging each of the tense muscles in his legs and arms doing my best to simply make him feel loved. Now some people would say that the easiest way to do that would be to drop to my knees and swallow him whole. They would be WRONG, Brian feels like he is successful and worthy in two areas: advertising and sex, therefore the way to let him know he is loved is to simply spend time with him. After Brian has been washed, shampooed, massaged and moisturized we head into the bedroom where Brian quickly lays himself flat on his back and stares at the ceiling, he barely reacts when I flop down beside him.

“What you said about not being like Jack. That is my biggest fear, that I will treat Gus and you the way he treated me. I never want to be like that, in my house love was a joke, a word we pulled out when family or neighbors came over. Although one time after Jack broke 2 of my ribs and I was waiting for Deb to take me to the ER, Joan stumbled over to me and told me that Jack did what he did because he loved me and I needed to learn how to be a good God fearing boy.”

“Well, when I say I love you it is because you are a good man and I love you, you are my home. No matter where we are if we are together I am home. And the things I said tonight were true. You are not your father, you will never be your father. Deb is your true mother-even if she sucks on occasion- she loves you. So lay back and let me take care of you tonight.” I grin up at him and slide my fingers down his legs and bend them at the knees.

“Whatcha doing Sunshine?”

“Mmmmmhmmm…nuthin’. Exploring.” I say from between his legs where I am running my tongue over the tip of his cock. “what do you want me to do?” and I stick the tip of my tongue in his slit.

“Ahhhh…that’s good…keep doing that.” He gasps and runs his fingers through my hair, pushing my head down.

“Nope. I think I want to do something else.” I tease as he groans, when I slip my shoulders behind his knees and make my way to his warm, tight hole. “This is where I want to be. Looking at you open like this, for me. Only me.” 

“Always you Justin, always.” He gasps out as I alternate licking and softly blowing on his pucker.

When I think he is ready for more I slowly push my tongue into him and gently probe until I find that one spot that I know makes him keen and say my name. I move in and out of him working spit into him and getting ready to open him even more for me.

“Are you ready for more? Should I stop?”

“Don’t you fucking dare stop! Fuck, Justin do that again.” He growls

“That?” I ask as I insert my index finger into him and turn it so my thumb is massaging his perineum and he is writing under me. “Do you like that? What about this? Should I add another finger?”

I add a third finger and turn them slightly while I move them in and out of him without any rhythm. I know he is ready for me when his heels dig into my sides and he arches up off the bed. I reach for a condom and open the package with my teeth (hello Brian did teach me a few things after all) while I continue to fuck him with my fingers.

“Justin. In..me..now..” Brian gasps out as I hit his prostate. I give my fingers one last twist and then remove them, burying myself in him in one smooth motion. Tonight is not a night Brian needs to be taken slowly. Normally I would prepare him with my fingers and then enter him slowly, stopping a couple of times to let him adjust to my size, which is about 8 inches, cut and thick. “ Arghhhh, Justinnnn…yes that’s it take me hard. Harder.” He calls out.

I slow down and change my pace. “This is my show Brian. Lay back and enjoy..the ride”

And it was quite a ride too. I took him to the edge and back for over an hour, until finally I couldn’t hold back any longer and with one strong squeeze of Brian’s muscles I was shooting into him, triggering his orgasm, taking over the cliff with me without either of us touching his cock. We rode out our release and collapsed in a heap on the bed. I lifted up and slowly pulled out of him and got rid of the condom, I aimed for the trash, but who knows-sorry Maria- we fell asleep tangled in each other’s arms and slept until the sun rose the next day.


	6. My Boyfriend

I don’t know how long Brian was awake before me, but when I woke up he was looking at me with such a peaceful expression on his face I had to give him my “sunshiny-est” smile. He smiled back and ran his hand through my hair, before leaning down and kissing me quickly.

“Morning”

“Morning Sunshine, ready for some breakfast?” he asks as I smell bacon and coffee waft into the room.

Ok-Brian Kinney does not cook-does he? Maybe I am still sleeping and this is a dream…

“pinch me..”

“What?”

“PINCH ME. I must still be sleeping, but it smells like YOU cooked.”

“No. Sorry. You are awake and I did make breakfast.” He laughed “now get up before your pancakes get cold.”

I stretched and grabbed my robe before heading to the table, which he had set beautifully with flowers and fresh squeezed juice. Shocked? Yup. Brian had made pancakes, bacon, sausage, and home fries-for me, for himself he naturally made a veggie egg white omelet, turkey bacon and fresh fruit, he did eat some home fries.

“Brian this is wonderful! What did I do to earn such a treat? When did you have time to get all of the stuff you needed to do this?” I asked between mouthfuls.

“Well, my love, while you were sleeping I went to the market down the street and bought food. Yes, there is indeed food in the loft.” He said before I could say anything. “I wanted to do something special for you because you are always taking care of me, and what better way to thank you than to feed you?”

“Well there is one other thing you can do to thank me.”

“And how is that my dear Mr. Taylor.” He grinned.

“Be my boyfriend all day. Act like a boyfriend, be affectionate in public, hold my hand, push me on a swing in the park…” I said and saw the look of horror on his face as he listened to me. “And then I want a white wedding and a picket fence and a golden retriever. Dear” And I said it all without laughing too.

“Who the fuck are you and what have you done with my twink?”

“Brian. I’m right here, it was a joke. I couldn’t help myself..I mean you already cooked my breakfast so I figured why not push for the whole ‘hetero dream’.” I giggled and kissed his forehead. “now I am going to take a shower. And then we are going to call Ted and Emmett and invite them to lunch, someplace other than the loft, in fact not anywhere near Liberty Ave.”

And I was off to my shower, by the time I had counted to ten he was in the shower with me and washing my hair. An hour later we were dressed and out the door to look for studio space for me in town before meeting Ted and Emmett for lunch down town. Since I am moving home Brian and I discussed it and decided that the best thing to do would be to find a studio that was close to the loft so I could work during the week and we could go to Britin (which I just found out he kept-that’s a story for another day) on the weekends. 

As we were driving around from spot to spot we talked about the night before and also about Ted and Emmett. They have both been around since the beginning and while Ted may have been envious and pretentious at the start of things he has shown time and again what a good friend he can be to both me and Brian. And Emmett, well what can I say about Emmett? He is great, he has always been on my side and supported me when Brian and I were having issues. Sure he was part of the ‘never change’ chorus at first, but that changed quickly. Emmett comes across as being a ‘silly queen’ but he is one of the most observant and clear minded people I have ever met. He noticed things about Brian and my relationship long before anyone else, included me sometimes, and he sees Brian as the good man he has always been and is finally allowing to show. Needless to say when Ted and Emmett meet us for lunch that is exactly what I am going to tell them. I also want to thank Emmett for supporting Brian last night, what- ever he said to Brian did the trick, and Brian won’t tell me what he said.


	7. Lunch with the "Girls"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ted and Emmett

Christos Mediterranean Grill Brian and I had been to this restaurant on a couple of occasions and the food was always wonderful and I thought it would be comfortable for Ted and Emmett to be someplace other than the Liberty Diner for a change. 

We arrived a little ahead of the boys because we wanted to get a table in the back so we could talk and Brian said to “Emmett could be emotional if he needed to be”.

While we waited we ordered a drink and talked about the studio spaces we looked at, of course none of them lived up to Brian’s standards but then again he would have preferred to buy the studio loft in his (our?) building. I didn’t turn him down and based on what we looked at today I will more than likely be considering it seriously, but I am going to make him convince me to do it first, after all sometimes we have to work for the things that give us pleasure and I can’t deny him that. 

“Hi boys. “ Emmett greeted us, he looked lovely and relatively understated in black pants and a fuchsia jacket over a bone colored pull over.

“Hi Em. Hi Ted.” 

“Hey sweetie.”

“ Hi Justin”

“Theodore, Emmy Lou glad you could make it.”

“Thanks for the invite I think.” Emmett said and sat down beside me. “That was quite a show you put on last night baby. Deb was still rattled this morning and Michael was beside himself when he left. I hope I am not on your bad side.?”

“No, no. Neither of you are actually. I wanted to thank you both for being there and not saying too much. I needed to say it and they would have found a way to say I was over-reacting if you had spoken up.” I say.

“So relax Ted, order a drink and let’s have a nice lunch.” Brian reassured. “Emmett I wanted to thank you for keeping me…grounded last night, I think I may have hit Mikey again if you hadn’t been there.”

Emmett sputtered for a couple of minutes, being entirely unfamiliar with receiving a thank you or acknowledgement from Brian.

“you’re welcome Brian, I have seen that throbbing vein before-but usually directed at someone who is hitting on Justin too forcefully. Happy to do it.” 

Once we had placed our orders we talked about how Emmett’s business was doing, Kinnetik and my show at Bloom Gallery, which of course had not even been booked yet and my moving back to the Pitts. 

“Justin you only left 8 months ago, is that enough time to get a start? You are so very talented it would be a shame for you to come back too soon.” Ted asked. “But..Brian before you bite my head off…if you feel like you have more to gain being here I trust that you know what you’re doing.” Good Save Teddy.

“Well of course Justin knows what he’s doing he is brilliant. Aren’t you sweetie.” Emmett cheered and took a sip of his iced tea.

“Thank you. Both of you. I do have something’s I would like to say to you but don’t panic. You will depart this lunch intact.” I smiled and sipped my lemonade.

“By all means Justin we are your willing audience.” Ted said. “Geez Theodore lighten up!!! Justin just spit it out so we can get this over with and I can take you home and convince you to agree to my studio idea.” Brian growled-too much emotion.

“Ok. Well let me start by saying that we are so lucky to have you as friends. Emmett since the day I actually met you, you have welcomed me. You seem to see Brian more clearly than anyone else does, I wrote the Kinney Operating Manual but you definitely have the Cliff Notes. You have been nothing but supportive of me, you may have told me Brian wouldn’t change but as soon as you saw it happening you were right there helping me. Thank You.” I said with a smile and then whispered, “I know he will never say it but, Brian values you-he may even care about you.”

“Don’t take it too far Sunshine.” Brian grinned and winked at Em.

“Honeycutt, you’re a good man and a good friend thank you. See I said it.” And then he stuck his tongue out at me.

“Why thank you Brian that was almost touching. Don’t call me Honeycutt.” 

We all laughed and started our lunch. I know Ted was getting anxious about what we had to say to him but, hello I was eating and it’s hard to be heartfelt when you are stuffing your face with spanikopita. So he would just have to wait until dessert-did I mention the pastries? 

“Theodore, since it seems Justin is too busy feeding I guess I get to address you. So listen because I am not going to repeat myself and I will not be getting all mushy. You have always been around, sometimes I was less than kind to you and may have even belittled you on occasion, but over the last few years I have started to see you in a different light.” Brian said and cleared his throat. “ You started out dull, even in college you were dull, over time you have…blossomed. I know you resent or resented me because my life seemed easier or enviable, watching you change your life has been a privilege. You have been a good friend and I’m proud of you. You went from boring accountant to porn king to crystal queen and have morphed into trusted Chief Financial Officer in my business. Thank you. I am happy to call you my friend.” 

Judging from the look on Ted’s face I was afraid he was going to leap up and hug Brian, but instead he sat up straighter and cleared his throat. 

“Brian it is true that I envied you when we were younger, you have looks, brains, men, money and finally, in Justin a happy, stable relationship. How could I not envy you? But like Emmett I started out doubting you’re intentions with Justin and I didn’t truly make an effort to get to know him, for that I apologize Justin. “ Ted said and looked us both in the eye. “ So I guess I owe you an apology for being so snarky with and doubting of you Brian. I appreciate everything you have done for me, I consider you a friend and value your friendship.” 

“Gee Ted lets all get up and hug now” Brian said dripping sarcasm “you do a good job, I make money and you are reliable. Don’t fuck up and we will continue to be friends.”

“Thanks Bri, always sentimental.”

“Ohhhhh….this is just so sweet.” Emmett said taking a shaky breath. “I love you guys. Welcome home!”

“Oh God! Waiter we need a double Cosmo here for please” Brian teased.

“Welcome Home Justin!”

“Welcome home!” Ted said and toasted me with his sparkling cider. 

After lunch ended we said good bye to Emmett and Ted, assuring them that we would let them know if we needed anything-family wise. I thanked them and mentioned that we would be seeing Lindsey and Mel next week and that I’m sure they will be hearing from them soon as Michael probably got on the phone as soon as he could.

All in all a good day, hopefully things go well in Canada but I doubt it will be so friendly by the time I am finished with the girls and put out what ever fires Michael has started with his version of events. 

“Sunshine let’s go home.”

“Home I like that.” I smiled “Shit we have to have my stuff shipped soon!”


	8. Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well here is the next chapter. It just another quick update, I think I am going to have to have someone really tick me off or watch some of season 1 before I can tell Mel and Lindsey off but that is the next chapter. Enjoy and keep the comments coming!

It’s been two days since I told off Deb and Michael, we have not heard from either of them since then. Ben called this morning to apologize to Brian and I, and to ask us to lunch. I know his schedule at the university makes it possible for him to meet during the day and I got the feeling he wanted to do it while Michael was at the shop. After checking with Brian to see what his day would was like it was agreed that Ben would meet us at Kinnetik and we would go to lunch someplace down town rather than risk running into Michael or Deb at the diner. At 1pm I arrived at Kinnetik, stopped in to say hi to Ted and headed to Brian’s office. Since Cynthia is now a V.P. Brian has been forced to hire someone new to replace her, I am so glad I don’t have to fill those Manolo’s. As I approach the outer office I notice that Suzy, who had lasted 2 weeks already, wasn’t there, instead there was a rather attractive brunette in his mid-20’s.

“Hello” I said as I headed for the door.

“Can I help you?” he asked.

“I’m just going in to see Brian. But thank you.” I smiled.

“Do you have an appointment? Mr.Kinney is expecting an important client.” Good boy.

“No, but believe me he’ll see me.” As I opened the door I could see the panic on the poor kids face. I looked back at him and smiled again as I through the door open. “Hey there sexy!!!” I giggled and jumped into Brian’s arms. “So lover what’s with the new eye candy?” I said in his ear.

The guy looked like he was getting ready to duck for cover when Brian saw him.

“What the fuck, Justin?” Brian huffed as he put me down “watch out for the Armani. Oh, him, intern. Matt this is my ….what are you? Whatever, this is Justin, let him in anytime regardless of what I am doing.”

“Ok Mr. Kinney. Nice to meet you Justin.” Matt said with a blush and left.

“So an intern…. As I recall you have trouble keeping your hands off of the interns” I smiled and raised a brow.

“Don’t worry your pretty, blonde boy head he’s straight. And only covering the phone while Suzy has lunch, I told her to go while we were at lunch so I don’t have to deal with inept interns.”

“Ok” I said an dropped into HIS chair. Brian laughed and settled himself on the couch. “So where are we going for lunch?”

“I was thinking about the Six Penn Station. It’s quick, tasty and has enough of a selection for you and Ben to be satisfied.” Brian replied.

“Or we could go to Primanti’s???” I hinted.

“Not today dear, I’m not in the mood.” Brian smiled. “So want to go over these boards with me while we wait?” Brian loves to have me critique his art department. I think it helps him put their talents in perspective when I look at the work and praise it or make suggestions he didn’t think of when he sent the notes down.

Ben arrived precisely on time so I didn’t have much time to look at boards but as always I told him to have more faith in the team he has built and to let Cynthia and Ted deal with the art department face to face. We headed out right away with Brian giving Matt instructions to only take messages and to stay out if his office. So I guess Suzy is working out, good, because he is a bitch to deal with when he has to deal with a new assistant/secretary.

Once we are seated and have ordered, Ben tells us the reason for this lunch. It seems Michael and he are taking a break from one another and wanted to let us know that while and Michael had not broken up they did have a nice long talk about Sunday dinner.

“Brian let me just say it again, I am so sorry that I let Michael get away with his bullshit. I have always know about his feelings toward you but I truly believed they were in the past, and I still do. I just think Michael has trouble telling the difference between love and in love. "

“Ben, sorry is bullshit. Mikey is a big boy and he can make his own choices just like I can. If he can’t live with the choice I have made, to have Justin as my partner, wipe that smirk off your face Justin, that is his choice.” Brian said as he took a sip of his ice water.

“Really Ben you have nothing to apologize for, you have always been more than supportive of me, like Ted and Emmett I think you just didn’t see the depth of pain it was causing Brian.” I re-assured “and like Emmett and Ted now that you have seen it I don’t think you will take the comments as lightly. It’s not as if we really expect them to change that much, especially overnight, but now that it is out there I hope Michael and Deb will see what they have been doing all these years.”

“I hope so too.” Ben smiled. “Although I do have to warn you about the call Michael made to Canada. It was like he had just witnessed a riot or something. He talked with Mel and Lindsey for an hour about how Justin yelled at Deb and him, how his ‘best friend’ just walked away and let it happen.”

“Well I did kind of turn my pit bull loose on them.” Brian laughed. “I bet Mel had a field day with that!”

“Actually, it sounded like she agreed with a lot of what Justin had to say.” Ben answered “at least from the side of the conversation I heard. There was a lot of ‘but he…’ and ‘he had no right’ and ‘I’ve known him longer’. In the end I think she told him to let you grow up. And then nominated Justin for sainthood for putting up with you.”

“Stop giggling Sunshine. Well I guess I own Mel-shit I owe Mel! How the fuck did that happen?” Brian said with a smile.

“Oh I’m sure she will still have her claws ready for you big guy.” I added. “Where are you staying until you and Michael work it out?”

“With a friend of mine who teaches at Mellon, his girlfriend just moved out so he was kind of lonely anyway. I’m all set up in his guestroom. I don’t think I will be there long but its going to depend on Michael, I love him but I won’t share his attention with you Brian.”

“I don’t want you to Professor. Believe me Mikey can’t afford to spread his attention span much more than you, JR, ‘ma’ and comics, it makes him cranky.” Brian teased. 

We had a very nice lunch and talked about life, the family, Ayn Rand (ok I spaced out for that one) because Brian needs someone to talk to when it comes to that stuff. I am much more a biography and art book kind of reader. As we were leaving Ben asked when we would be heading up to see Gus next, I told him we would be heading up on Thursday and staying until Sunday. Ben wished us luck and set out in the direction of the college or at least the bus line that goes to the college. Brian and I shared a cab back to Kinnetik and I asked what he wanted for dinner because I felt like cooking for ‘my man’, the cringe was great, he hates it when I do stuff he sees as ‘wifely’, even if he eats it up.

I’m so glad we are heading to Toronto this weekend. It’s time the girls got to have a say and hear my opinions.


	9. Toronto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is the last chapter. I didn't expect this story to be more than a single chapter, so 9 was a shock. I hope I have not disappointed. It is a LONG chapter. Thank you all for reading.

“Brian!!! Have you seen my sneakers? I thought I left them by the door but now I can’t find them.”

“No I have not seen those fucking ugly, smelly things you call shoes. And if I had, believe me they would have been down the garbage chute ling ago.” Sometime Brian can be such a twit.

“Brian. You did not drop my shoes down the chute…did you? What am I going to wear now?” I whine. I am so pissed off right now, but I let him see that he will take it and run with it. “Fuck you Brian! I think its time for your beloved Prada boots to sleep with the fishes.” I laugh and run for the closet.

“Sunshine, don’t even think about it. We have to be at the airport in an hour, you can wear the new ugly sneakers I got you and put down my $600 boots. Now. Please.”

He threw out my shoes and bought me another pair, exactly the same style! How can he be such an asshole and so sweet at the same time? So I put on my new shoes and grab my backpack, smacking his ass on my way by, of course. We are spending the next 4 days in Toronto visiting Gus and the girls, and knowing that Michael called them last week to whine I am probably in for a small battle. And I would not take any of it back given the chance.

Our flight is quick, the seats in first class are cozy and they serve a meal. Combine comfort, food and Brian and I am in heaven. Sadly since the flight is so short we don’t get to do much more than snuggle-ok I snuggle Brian reads-but it’s nice to just be together. I am nervous about seeing the girls but excited to see their house and the kids. Brian and I are staying at the InterContinental in downtown Toronto, but plan to spend as much time as we can with the kids, both of them, Brian never leaves JR out when we visit so she will be with us when we go to the zoo and maybe to the museum. 

Once we leave the gate to head for baggage claim, because Brian can’t travel with less than one large bag, a small brown haired ball of energy bounces into his arms and nearly knocks him over. He is followed closely behind by Mel and Lindsey with JR in a stroller.

“Hey there, Sonny boy! How are you? Justin has missed you.” Brian grinned and kissed Gus “ever since you moved away he has been crying that he never gets to see his Gus. Maybe you better go give him a great big hug too. OK?” And then he set Gus down and turned to the girls to talk.

“Hi Gus.” I smile as he knocks me down with his hug. “Wanna help me get daddy’s luggage? I need a big strong guy to help me out.” 

“Hi Jus, I missed you. Are you staying along time? How come you don’t have a lug…luggage too?” Gus asked with his arms around my neck as we walked.

“I missed you too Gus, so much. I don’t need nearly as much stuff to make me look good, it takes more to make daddy look good.” I say loud enough that Brian hears me and flicks me on the neck. “Ow. Hi Linds, Hey Mel”

“Hi Justin, did you have a good trip?” Lindsey asked.

“Hi Baby. You look great!” Mel smiled.

“Yeah, yeah great flight, good food, warm blankets. Let’s get the f..let’s get out of here.” Brian said.

The drive to the hotel was quiet, except for Gus telling his daddy all about his new toy car and his new teacher. We checked in and then headed to the in house restaurant for dinner and to talk about the schedule for the next 4 days. Brian and I want to spend as much time with Gus as we can, we see him about once a month but it never seems like enough time. 

“Why don’t you call us when you are ready to head over to the house in the morning and we can have coffee and then you boys can head out for the day.” Lindsey suggested over dessert. After years of losing my dessert to Brian and Gus I have finally convinced Brian to order his own and share it with his son.

“That sounds great. We should have a car waiting for us in the morning and then we can just head over to your house.” Brian agreed.

“Shit Brian you are so agreeable. What the hell is going on? Michael called and said that there was something wrong with you. I have to disagree with him, you are almost bearable right now.”Mel smirked.

God can we not get into this now? I really want to have a good night’s sleep before I have to deal with more of this crap. Sometimes I wonder why we even bother dealing with our “family”, but then Gus smiles at me or JR giggles and I realize we put up with the adults because of the kids. I know Gus is the most important person in the world to Brian and it is worth any annoyance to make sure Brian gets to be part of Gus’ life…even if it is whiny, sniveling Michael, loud, over bearing Deb, delusional Lindsey or jealous, insecure Mel.

“Actually, Mel, Brian is just fine. Michael just didn’t like the way he was forced to admit that his childish image of Brian is nothing but bullshit.” I said sipping my coffee, I refuse to lose my temper in public and in front of the kids.

“Well, Michael was very upset when he called, he wasn’t really making sense. He kept saying Brian just stood there and let the ‘twink’ yell at him, how Brian isn’t Brian anymore and Justin has done something to him.” Lindsey said, using her sticky sweet voice. “ He had me worried about you.”

“No need to worry about me. I am fabulous, we are fabulous.” Brian smiled and wrapped his arm around me. “Mikey heard some truths he didn’t want to hear, and as for Deb well Justin didn’t say anything to either of them that they didn’t need to hear.”

“You know I think maybe it’s time to call it a night. You guys must be knocked out after working all day and then traveling here.” Mel said, “Why don’t we catch up some more in the morning.”

I love Mel sometimes. She sensed that Lindsey was getting ready to start in on Brian and decided that a public place was not the place for it. She may not always be Brian’s biggest fan but she is a good person and if what Ben says is true I am going to need her on my side when the shit hits the fan. But then again I also have a few things to say to her too so I may be on my own. At least Gus will still like me.

So we each go our own way with an agreement to have coffee at their house in the morning and then take Gus and JR to the part for awhile.

Lindsey and Mel’s 9am

We get to the girls house and park out front. Neither of us get out right away, in fact if Gus hadn’t come out to the car I think we would have sat there a lot longer. It’s not that we didn’t want to see them, it’s that we knew that eventually we were going to have to tell them about what has been going on in the Pitts. I know Lindsey is going to freak out that I have moved home, we are getting ready to move into Britin and that we (I) am not going to stand for them, any of the family, bad mouthing Brian and expecting that nothing will come of it. When I was younger I felt like I couldn’t say anything to them about how they treated him, but now I am an adult and I have been a part of Brian’s life for nearly 6 years, I have earned my place and my right to stand up for him.

Lindsey greets us with a smile and kisses each of us on the cheek, she is such a good country club girl, and directs us into the kitchen where the kids are eating. Once we are settled she offers us coffee and sets down a large piece of coffee cake in front of me.

“Shit Linds are you trying to make his ass huge! Sunshine do not eat all of that, your ass will be too big to fit in the seats.” Brian teases, and takes a large bit of my cake.

“Brian, stop it. Justin looks great! Let the kid eat.” Mel says as she comes into the room. “Hi Justin”

“Hey Mel, thanks for the support.” I smile.

“Hi Gus. What’s for breakfast” Brian asks.

“Waffles and bacon daddy, want some?” Gus asks and offers Brian a bit, which he takes happily.

“Dada…jussin” JR says.

“Oh sweetie, that’s Brian and Justin” Lindsey says “Brian…Justin”

“Bian, Jussin, Dada?”

“It’s ok Linds. She’ll figure it out when Mikey visits.” Brian said and tickled JR.

“Mama, I’m all done can I o watch Sponge Bob.”

“Sure honey. Justin and Daddy are going to take you both to the park in a while.” Mel said.

We sat and watched Gus leave the room and then watched JR try to feed herself a grape. After about 20 minutes of small talk and talking about the gang, Lindsey goes in for the kill.

“So, Justin how long are you going to be in Pittsburgh? I would imagine you can’t be away from your studio for too long” Lindsey asked. “New York must be wonderful right now”

“Actually Linds. I moved back to the Pitts about a month ago. New York was great but my life is not in New York, it’s in Pittsburgh.” I smiled and grabbed Brian’s hand. The look on her face was classic, I could see the wheels turning in her head and just waited.

“Shit Brian, are you so selfish that you would keep him in Pittsburgh?” Mel said “Same old selfish Kinney”

“Fuck you Mel” Brian said and sipped his coffee.

“Oh Justin. You should be in New York, this is your chance to make a name for yourself.” Lindsey said.

I take a moment to center myself and think I might as well get the yelling out of the way so we can try to have a nice weekend with Gus, if not the girls.

“Brian, baby, why don’t you go see what Gus is up to, maybe take JR with you. I have a few things I would like to clear up with the ladies. And the kids don’t need to hear it.” I say and squeeze his hand.

“Ok. But don’t be too long” Brian said, stood and leaned down to kiss me on the cheek before unbuckling JR from her set and heading out to the living room. 

“Lindsey, Mel. I know Michael called you last week and told you about what happened at dinner. I’m also pretty sure that he didn’t give you all the details, so let me sum up what I said.” I stop and take a breath “First, I came home because I wanted to-Brian is my chance of a lifetime-I can be an artist anywhere. And Lindsey I have an agent and 2 shows booked in New York so my career is not stalled. Brian did nothing to make me come home to him, in fact he was willing to spend every weekend with me in New York. He is, the least selfish man you will ever meet. Sure he’s arrogant and confident, but when has he ever denied any of us what we need or want?”

“Justin, I am so happy to hear that you are having shows. But shouldn’t you be in New York getting ready? Surely Brian isn’t keeping you from your work?” Lindsey asked, voice filled with concern.

“No as a matter of fact I have a studio in Pittsburgh and the one at Britin, so I am working all the time. I need to have about 30-40 pictures done by next February. One show is with another artist and the other is a solo show. So you see Lindsey I don’t need to be anywhere but where my life is. Brian is it.”

“Shit Justin, I’m proud of you. Maybe you can trade Brian in for a nicer model” Mel says with a grin.

“Ok, so where was I? Yes, I did in fact tell Michael and Deb off, I will not sit back and listen while people who call themselves his friend-family even, belittle him and undermine him. Michael still resents me for taking ‘his’ place at Brian’s side, he blames me for Brian changing, for him not being the Stud of Liberty Ave. anymore. Well like I told him , Brian has grown up, he is a successful business man, a good father, friend and partner. If some people can’t see that then they need to keep their fucking opinions to them- selves. And as for Debbie, well I am so tired of every bad thing that happens to the ‘family’ being Brian’s fault, as if he is all powerful or something. Brian is a man, a good man, a resilient man but a man. Debbie seems to feel like Brian is to blame for every failure Michael has ever suffered. I simply reminded her that Michael is 36 years old and more than capable of handling his own life without his bestest friend being there to bail him out, it’s time for little Mikey to grow some balls and stand on his own two feet.” I stop to take a breath and a sip of coffee, look over toward Brian and see him snuggled with Gus beside him and JR on his lap watching Sponge Bob. “As for being selfish, Mel, well lets reflect shall we…who gave up his parental rights so you two would get back together? Who’s check book is always open when you need money? Do you honestly think Brian doesn’t know that he is paying for JR’s daycare? Of course he does but he would never deny her the things Gus has, they are brother and sister. Can Michael say the same thing? Who paid off Deb and Vic’s trip to Capri? Paid off Deb’s mortgage? Gave Ted a job when he got out of rehab? Who gave a 17 year old kid a place to stay when his own parents wouldn’t? Who took in a broken, panic attack ridden 18 year old? “

“Wow Justin! You sure have a lot to say on this don’t you? Are you finished?” Mel asked.

“Well…I have some other stuff but if my point has been made I guess I can stop.”

“No Justin I’d like to hear what else you have to say.” Lindsey countered.

“Linds.”Mel said softly “we don’t have to do this”

“No I think we do. Justin clearly has some other things he wants to say.”

“Actually I have a question for you first Lindsey. Did you think that showing Brian the Art Forum review would make him throw me off of Mt. Kinney again? And of course when hesaw it he listened to his old friend Lindsey tell him how it was the chance of little Justin’s life time and did he really want to stand in the way of greatness. Shit Linds you played on all of his fears. What did you expect to happen! And then you decide to pack up and move his son 5 hours away. Well Lindsey here is what I think. Like Michael you love Brian but you want to keep him the same stunted, playboy he was in college because if he never changes then you can feel good about how mature you are, and how stable you are in your life. Well that is bull shit. And Mel I know you have always felt like Lindsey compares you to Brian-even if she doesn’t say it- but that is not his fault, you resent that he was Lindsey’s choice for Gus’ father. But look at them! They are beautiful, Brian is a great father, he loves Gus with all his heart and would do anything for him. Even give up his legal rights. Which by the way you didn’t demand of Michael, that sucks by the way.”

Mel and Lindsey just kind of sit there, in shock. I know Brian has been listening and watching, he comes in to the kitchen and takes my hand and kisses my wrist. After about 5 minutes of sitting in silence Mel speaks, softly and thoughtfully.

“Justin, you’re right I do resent Brian and it isn’t his fault. Lindsey has always been slightly infatuated with Brian, and I think that she sort of hopes for that white picket fence dream. And I didn’t want him to be Gus’ father, he was not the man you know today back then. I admit it was wrong of me to demand Brian give up his rights when we didn’t even ask Michael to do it, Brian I owe you an apology, I was wrong to blame you for how Lindsey see’s you and I was wrong to demand you give up your right. I know you have changed and I almost like you, I sure as hell respect you. So even though you are an asshole sometimes I will try harder.”

“Smelly Melly. I’m touched. Thanks. Does this mean we have to be cordial all the time now?” Brian asked with a quirked brow and tongue in cheek.

“Hell no! I think we would both explode if we tried to be too nice to each other.” She laughed. “you know you can’t live without our sparring matches.”

“Thank Christ. I think I might have burst with nasty comments if I had to be nice all the time. By the way I respect you too.” Brian said “Shit is it almost noon, I need a drink after all this nicey-nice.”

“Brian” we say in chorus.

“Justin.” Lindsey says softly “I didn’t realize you felt this way.”

“Lindsey, I have always know, shit Mel has always known, that you have a secret dream about settling down with Gus and Brian in a nice house and your mothers approval. And admittedly Brian has used that knowledge on occasion to get what he wants, but he never promised you anything but friendship and when you asked he gave you a son. Mel and Brian don’t deserve to have this causing them to fight, they are so alike that they can get into enough trouble without any outside influence. As for me, New York was never my dream, it was yours and I’m sorry you couldn’t get there, but I don’t want or need to be there. I need to be with Brian and that is where I plan to be.”

Lindsey got very quiet and I think she may have started to tear up a bit. “I think maybe it’s time for Brian and I to get out of here with the kids for awhile. We’ll call you in a couple of hours. I think you have some things to talk about.”

And we were off for a fabulous afternoon with the kids. Brian was quiet for awhile but lighter, as if he had something lifted off his shoulders. None of the things I said to the girls was untrue, in fact I sugar coated it a bit. And Mel was indeed more agreeable than I expected. Lindsey has some thinking to do. I the end all I can hope for is that our ‘family’ finally accepts Brian for who he is, not who they want him to be. He is a friend, a father, a brother and the best thing a horny 17 year old ever picked up on Liberty Ave. We are all better off for having him in our lives.

The End


	10. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok-this is really it. I swear!!! I just felt like I needed to include some kind of resolution. Hope I didn't disappoint or get too flowery-its so un-Brian :)

After our visit with Lindsey and Mel things were tense for a while with the entire family. Ted and Emmett were sort of stuck in the middle, Ben spent a lot of time talking with Michael about how he treats me and Brian, and our relationship. I am constantly impressed by Ben, he deals with Michael’s immaturity and occasional venomous behavior, but seems to have tempered Michael a bit. I honestly believe that Michael may have realized that Ben is who he needs and loves, and that Ben will only take so much before he walks away. Debbie will never change, she will always think of Brian as the “asshole”, but she has started to be more attentive to what she says to Brian and how she treats him. Michael is still coming to terms with how he talks to Brian and that perhaps their relationship will never be what it once was, but as with all childhood things eventually they fade in intensity. If nothing else comes out of this whole experience I want them all to see Brian as human, with feelings and needs. For as long as I have known any of them most of the “family” has seen Brian as an easy target for their snide remarks and superior attitudes, or the reason for their unhappiness in love and life, or as a threat to their relationship.

Aside from gaining an increased sense of trust in me, and insight into himself, I think Brian also gained a more solid relationship with Emmett and Ted. Although Ted envied Brian his life style he has always respected his business sense and appreciates Brian’s trust in him when no one else did. Emmett is truly wonderful and insightful, he has always seen Brian for who he is and voiced his opinions about how Brian acted. Today he is my cohort in setting the ‘family’ back on track when they slip into their old Brian blaming habits. 

Things with the girls were better, Lindsey was cold and stand-offish with me for awhile, but over time I think she began to see that Brian was never the man of her dreams-he is the man of my dreams. Mel called me a couple of days after we left Toronto and apologized for never seeing how she and Lindsey hurt Brian by taking Gus out of the country, and taking Brian’s legal rights to Gus. She acknowledged what a great father he is and apologized to Brian face to face a month later when we went up for the weekend with Ben and Michael. Naturally her apology was brushed off by Brian in his usual manner, but anyone who was paying attention would have been able to see his eye’s soften for just a second or two when she apologized and told him he was a good father and friend. Of course then she called him an asshole and they began sparring again but, their attacks were no longer aimed at the soft spots. 

Of everyone I think Brian is the most changed by the recent events. He has always known I love him, and that his friends cared about him, but I don’t think it ever occurred to him that he was worth someone standing up for him. His stoicism and work ethic allows people, even those who should know better, to tell themselves he is unbreakable and unfeeling. Not everyone sees the damage that was done to him by Jack and Joan, they don’t always realize how their words truly do sink in and it’s true that old habits really do die hard. But they are all trying. 

Brian and I are stronger than ever, I really think that by just stepping back and letting me tell the family off he learned a lot about himself, the family and me. He has always said I am the strongest person he knows and now he knows that he can lean on me, I can take it. I will take whatever they have to give it if means Brian is happy, safe, loved and able to see that he is not responsible for everything that goes wrong in the world that is Liberty Avenue. And me, what did I learn? I learned that I am strong, I do have a say in how our life, Brian and mine, goes and that no matter what is happening if we talk to each other and stay focused on what is the core of our relationship, us, we can stand up to anything and anyone.


End file.
